I wrote this way back in 2008 when I was still somewhat of a pharmacological virgin but felt it bears resurrection
I was recently cajoled into a mindless conversation with this old geezer who happened to be sitting at my favorite table at The Loveshack. I wasn’t really in the mood to chat and just wanted my usual hot cup of Love with some Lust biscuits on the side.
He somehow didn’t pick up on my attempts to telepathically make him bugger off and instead started chatting away.
“I remember when people got their fill of things like love, romance, sex and all that from other people. It wasn’t available on tap from the local coffee shop.”
WTF – why do crazies always start talking to me. Do I somehow give off a signal that crazy is spoken here?
Look I didn’t want to be rude – for all I knew this idiot had just drunk a cup of Nostalgia and couldn’t really be blamed for his pathetic rambling.
“Did you even know your parents?”
Well technically I knew my father like I know myself – being 99.728% genetically similar to him. And mum was, I suppose, something between a test tube and an incubation pod.
Arrrrgh – I swear these waitress bots are getting cheekier and less efficient by the day. There’s one flirting with a jukebot in the corner instead of taking my order. Luckily I always have Serenity Gum in my pocket – I double dosed.
“Look old man – we’ve spent millions of credits erasing all trace of the past. Why bring your stone age ideas here?”
“This used to be my favorite coffee shop. I like coming back…….
Brrrrriiiiiinnnng – brrrriiiinnnnng (WTF- bring? Bring the menu?)
Oh shit it’s Tuesday – what a strange dream! I thought I was human for a bit there. Thank god I’m only an oil heater. Guess my human will be getting out of bed soon. Gotta love him – he’s so useless. Not like me at all. 🙂