When Sipho met Molly

Regarding the heartwarming repost from Twitter below;


I was, quite unavoidably, led to a vivid recollection of the event I’m about to relate – which may or may not actually have happened.

“All we are saying …… Is Give Peace a Chance”

It was a few weeks ago, at the beginning of the silly season. I was gliding home from a date in my Ford Bantam when she drifted into the mother of all roadblocks.

Now having ingested more than my fair share of beer, wine and other happy making stuff I should have been a bit nervous. But for pretty much the same reasons I was not nervous at all. It was more of a feeling of ‘awwww cute – highway robbers – let’s have a lovely little chat with them’.

I wasn’t really thinking about the 27 empty beer cans behind my seats or the interesting bags of other stuff in my cubbyhole. Sipho shines his torch in my direction and jiggles it to the left where he wants me to park. The jiggling torch light is soooo pretty 🙂

Sipho: “Are you alright?”
Me (and Molly): “I’m fine.”
Have you been drinking?
I shared a bottle of wine with my girlfriend
Please get out of your car

It’s such a lovely night. I can smell the tar and the trees and the moon. It’s nice being here with Sipho.

We’ll have to test you
Half a bottle of wine will be too much
Mmmmmm ok
If you are over the limit we will have to arrest you
You will spend the weekend in the cells until the court case
I understand
What do you say?
That sounds quite bad.
What do you want to do?

(This is South African for bribes accepted here)

You can test me
But you will fail
If I call my superior it’s too late
Sorry I’m not really here – I said goodbye to my girlfriend tonight
I’m leaving town – going to Cape Town
In this Bakkie?
Yes – it’s a very good bakkie. But I’m sad. About leaving my girl.
Can’t you ask her to go with you?
I did
What did she say?
Sipho I want to go home – I’m sorry I’m not really here
Enjoy the evening

Bantam resumes gliding home. That was nice. I was sad but I’m happy now. The stars are so pretty. That was some lovely hippy trippy Jedi Knight stuff. Poor Sipho, I forgive him, I will send loving thoughts. Everyone should hang out more with Molly 🙂 🙂 🙂

An Unnatural Mind

Doctor I’m having a bad trip
I’m not really here
That’s ok neither am I – can we chat anyway?
Sure go right ahead

It’s hard to put into words. The words don’t say what I mean
Would you like to draw instead?
The pictures are just pixels – everything is just pixels
Pixels are ok

There are too many of me in here
Am I in there?
I suppose you must be. We all are aren’t we?
Yes – we’re just different arrangements of light and dark

You mean we are digital?
It’s not so simple
Can you make it simple
Not in any understandable way

People don’t understand anyway – they say it’s the drugs talking
Is it the drugs talking?
Drugs can’t talk
Well then it must be you talking

I keep having to go back – to remember where I am
We all do – it’s called the illusion of self
Can’t I stop, go forward instead?
You can when you die

I’m a victim of prejudice
Because you’re Jewish?
No because I’m me
Perhaps you could be someone else?

I’d like that – but I’d still have to keep going back
That’s ok we have time
Yes we do don’t we (I am hysterical laughter)
You are a victim of prejudice

Yes I prejudge myself
Do you prejudge me too?
I suppose I do
Can you stop

I’d like to stop but I’m afraid I’d dissolve
Back into the pixel soup?
Yes – back into the equation – or the ground of being from which the equation emerges
That line was too long
What do you mean?
You used to many words – it spoiled the higher dimensional pattern
Can you see the higher dimensional pattern?
Yes – I use the wheel on the mouse to scroll up and down
Are we in a word document?
Something like that.


I skimmed an article about using Oxytocin in couple’s therapy. I’m normally good at quoting and hyperlinking but I woke myself up screaming so I’m feeling a bit sloppy. A bit dispersed. I’m struggling to crawl out of my mind and into your head. So if it’s alright I’d just like to keep dribbling the words. I mean writing I think. It’s not what the Doctor ordered but he didn’t hear me scream.

So the idea, in the article, is that seeing as almost one in two marriages end in divorce, the pharmacologists are considering giving couples a bit of chemical help. A bit like fertility treatment but It’d be an illusion of love treatment. Which is fine because the illusion of love melts in the presence of more attractive mating opportunities anyway. And 1 out of 1 marriages ends in death  so we may as well do what we can to not fuck up the kids and the kids of the kids of the kids. Although the sun when it dies will eat the earth but that’s not easily monetized.

The whole universe will, true this, melt back into the nothingness from which it so precociously emerged. The ultimate law of diminishing returns. But people are very concerned about keeping the mind natural. As natural as fear and depression and rape and murder and bingo and angry cat memes. But chemicals are natural. Oh no they’re not you say – they’re man made. But man is natural. Oh crap I’m talking to myself again.

Mushrooms are natural. God can make a million magic mushrooms in the time it takes Pfizer to synthesize 10mg of Oxytocin. Pfizer could do it quicker if brains of people in love could be liquidized but they haven’t perfected the post liquidization distilling process and people in love often want to hang around and trip on the Oxytocin.

That’s the problem you see – the kick you get from your mate, the kick you call love, wears off. Darwin designed it that way when he invented natural selection. Also sometimes called survival of the most enthusiastic breeders. And, although women can only get knocked up by one man at a time. I think. Men can impregnate women almost as fast as god can make the mushrooms.

But god and Darwin ain’t dumb. So they let the oxytocin have efficacy for about 10.3 months otherwise the pregnant mother could get eaten by Wall Street or Ebola before she can deliver her spawn. I think the production of Oxytocin in women diminishes as a function of the man’s ability to produce expendable income but I may be wrong. Anyway to be on the safe-side Pfizer has done a deal with the Aluminum Company of America to combine Oxytocin with it’s waste fluoride so American kids can have good teeth and a mummy and daddy until they’re old enough to buy shrooms and become post nuclear family rocket scientists instead

NB: To be continued after the libel court-case

Love and Pharmacology

I wrote this way back in 2008 when I was still somewhat of a pharmacological virgin but felt it bears resurrection







I was recently cajoled into a mindless conversation with this old geezer who happened to be sitting at my favorite table at The Loveshack. I wasn’t really in the mood to chat and just wanted my usual hot cup of Love with some Lust biscuits on the side.

He somehow didn’t pick up on my attempts to telepathically make him bugger off and instead started chatting away.

“I remember when people got their fill of things like love, romance, sex and all that from other people. It wasn’t available on tap from the local coffee shop.”

WTF – why do crazies always start talking to me. Do I somehow give off a signal that crazy is spoken here?

“Mmmmmm yeah”

Look I didn’t want to be rude – for all I knew this idiot had just drunk a cup of Nostalgia and couldn’t really be blamed for his pathetic rambling.

“Did you even know your parents?”

Well technically I knew my father like I know myself – being 99.728% genetically similar to him. And mum was, I suppose, something between a test tube and an incubation pod.

Arrrrgh – I swear these waitress bots are getting cheekier and less efficient by the day. There’s one flirting with a jukebot in the corner instead of taking my order. Luckily I always have Serenity Gum in my pocket – I double dosed.

“Look old man – we’ve spent millions of credits erasing all trace of the past. Why bring your stone age ideas here?”

“This used to be my favorite coffee shop. I like coming back…….

Brrrrriiiiiinnnng – brrrriiiinnnnng (WTF- bring? Bring the menu?)

Oh shit it’s Tuesday – what a strange dream! I thought I was human for a bit there. Thank god I’m only an oil heater. Guess my human will be getting out of bed soon. Gotta love him – he’s so useless. Not like me at all. 🙂