A lot of good people
Pushing on through the rain
Painting whimsical rainbows
With impossible pain

Searching for salvation
Searching for love
Searching for a safe place to dream

A lot of bad people
Killing joy for money
Killing peace for kicks
Pissing on batteries in the name
Of righteous indignation

I got a whole suitcase full of madness
Demons and monsters instead of brain cells
I got more pain in my bugged out head
Than any one man should have to bear

But just for today
I’m going to get myself quietly shitfaced
And keep trying to devise
The spaced out alchemical algorithm

That will convert all this excess emotion
Small oil tankers of pain
Freight trains packed full of anger
Convert all this shit to Shinola
And keep polishing the blues



On The 8th Day God Created Yamaha


It’s been a very strange day. Strange even for me. I’ve been counting down my remaining days at my current job for about 3 years and got down to five. Then things got weird. After a combination of diplomacy, swearing and filing cabinet punching it was decided that I could fuck off immediately.

Which is all for the good because I got to find a canopy for my bakkie, sell my guitar and meet Bennie.

And yes this does relate somewhat to the picture above – don’t rush me.

Bennie answered my Gumtree ad for my never used Cort guitar. What I liked about Bennie was his habit of ending the brief SMS’s and chats with the words ‘Be Blessed.’ I’m an absolute sucker for random acts of kindness. Just hearing it cheered me up.

So I kinda blew off the other poncy Bryanston contender for the adoption of my much loved (and never used) guitar and arranged to meet Bennie at 4.

OK well here’s the bloody connection already!

Bennie is a member of the Christian Motorcycle association

And a nicer guy you could not hope to meet. If I wasn’t Jewish I would have signed up immediately. Hell (sic.) would even have gone and bought a bike again. And we had a lovely little chat about Jesus and forgiveness and old Yamaha XJ series bikes.

I was quite apologetic and explained that my old mum would have issues. Not with the bike side – she bought me my first two motorbikes – but with the Jesus bit. Only thing I could do worse than that would be to tell her I have a Muslim girlfriend. (No mom I don’t – it’s hypothetical!)

But he did leave me with a very funky leather jacket pocket sized bible. I liked reading about the translation challenges but after a couple of hundred words about who begat who I kinda lost interest in the main story.

Then I, after thinking that the guys were pretty cool, then reading that their discount online conversion drive may not be sanctioned by the authorities, decided to search for Jewish Motorcycle Associations.

And found the picture above.

So you see it is all effen connected – just don’t rush me!

Mushroom Steak Royale

Mushroom Steak Royale

I made the above bite for a friend. He loved how as he was eating it the director added some special effects. So he shouted for a camera. My friend that is. Because nothing is real if it isn’t posted.

I just like blood and bright colors so I played along.

Then he got very excited about product placement – and ransacked the room for Red Bull, Bic, Black Label and Mushroom Flavoured Dark Soy Sauce. I never did discover who and how we were going to bill. My idea of product placement is – sit the fuck down and eat the steak before it gets cold 🙂

The whole scene, for no good reason, got me thinking about life as product placement in an existential space. That is largely mental and solipsistic. Until social media turns every egomaniac into a fearless broadcaster of deep and meaningful shit.


Episode 2 to follow – need to place some nice ice cold Zamalek strategically in my belly.